I want to be a Kpop idol.

Don’t get me wrong though. I don’t have a massive passion of singing or dancing. I don’t want to desperately meet my bias and marry him. But instead… I want to run away from my life. My dad doesn’t care about me, calls me stupid and useless, insults me and overall is a horrible father. My mum is overworked,depressed, and I love her but I’m still her least favourite. And my friends. Where do I even start? I have lots of friends but truthfully, only one or two is my true friend. And they aren’t even my ‘best friend’. None of my other friends defend me. One guy called me a faggot and my friend replied “Trust me, she’s always like that :L”
They think I’m a stupid, obnoxious hypocrite. They think I can’t sing nor dance. And I hate it. 
But I don’t vent it out by listening to Kpop or anything because none of the lyrics are inspirational enough to move me or anything. But then, I found Epik High. Their music was so… unique. Each song, each word in their lyrics were so deep. I admired Tablo, Mithra and DJ Tukutz. Then, somehow, me and my ‘friends’ made a dance group who covered Kpop songs. We learnt Lucifer and other dances but truthfully, we sucked and I tried to point it out, but instead they lashed at me, saying how I couldn’t do better. I eventually decided, perhaps it was better to keep my mouth shut and go with the flow and let everyone but me decide everything. 
Then, I discovered Epik High’s Run. I read the lyrics and was inspired suddenly. What if. What if I could be a Korean Pop star? And perhaps, have real friends like SNSD? Share a bond like SNSD does? Have a bond which was similar to the famous Soshi bond? Then, I decided. I’m going to be a Kpop trainee and escape my crappy life.   

S!B: I don’t want my friends knowing this and calling me delusional and realising I hate them.