Yesterday, someone asked me,
“Why do you listen to KPop? You don’t even understand it.” To me, it’s not simply understanding the songs as they are word for word; it’s about digging deeper and finding the true meaning of a song and its melody.
Three years ago, I lost my mother to ovarian cancer. Out of everyone I knew, she was the first one I would always turn to whenever I needed help. Losing my mom was painful, and slowly, happiness seemed to disappear from my life. I stopped doing things I enjoyed and my grades began to fall. I became aggressive and I isolated myself from everyone. My friends tried to help me, but even they got tired so I became alone. I began to lose faith in life, and I thought of committing suicide. There was one time when my dad left me with my cousin to buy groceries, and I cut myself just to see what it would feel like. She called my dad before I ended up losing more blood. Two years ago, I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. During my treatments, my cousin introduced me to KPop. She’s a hardcore VIP, and the very first song I listened to was Lies. I thought it was pretty good so we listened to more. Then, she started telling me all about their training and how many struggles they, including other groups, had to face just to debut. She told me that even though they lived through years of hardships, the artists still persevered to achieve the happiness they wanted. She told me that if I try hard and not succumb into the negativity, I’d be able to do the same.
That’s why I listen to KPop. When I think about the stories of idols, like Sunggyu doing multiple jobs when he moved to Seoul despite his parents’ opposition, I’m reminded that my mother’s passing was a big obstacle that I, and my family, had to go through, and that God has bigger plans for me when I become stronger.
I’m very thankful to Big Bang and Epik High for creating many inspiring songs.